I've been having some issues with a friend of mine recently. It's not one isolated event but more the realization that as a whole they don't offer anything to enrich my life instead they drain me. I'm only important when they want something. Advice, a shoulder to cry on, someone to chat with. Yet it is almost impossible to ask the same in return. If I do bring up something of importance to me they either shoot it down or find some way to turn the subject back around to being all about them. What's worse is when I do share an idea with them. Something I am proud of they then wait a few weeks and then mention it as though it were their own.
Looking back at the course of our friendship I see it was built on a foundation of lies from them and only held together by the acts of kindness on my behalf. Early in the friendship they asked for my trust and I gave it. I put my faith in them only to find they were betraying my friendship and lying through their teeth. I put myself on the line and for what? It has gotten to the point where I do not like to talk with them anymore. I disagree with so many of their life choices and find them to be a very selfish person. I feel used.
It has been so long since I've had to deal with a friend like this. I don't know the protocol anymore. How do you dump a real-life friend? It's not as simple as on social networking sites. There's no 'unfollow' button to press. Do you treat them like a lover you've grown tired of and take them to a crowded restaurant to break the news to them so they can't create a big scene?
Or do you just slowly delete them from your life? Stop returning calls. Don't reply to their inane sms's. Remove them from facebook etc?
There is a nagging part of me which keeps saying. "But, if this was happening in reverse wouldn't you want an explanation?" I would love to say yes to this. I like to think that it would help me to grow into a better person but in reality I think it would just make me resentful of the other person. We've grown apart that's it. Lets move on shall we?
What would you do if you were faced with this same problem?
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I think you just unfollow them. At least, that's what friends do to me. Then, when I ask them they make up some excuse.
ReplyDeleteJust unfollow and see what happens. It's how other people do it.
I've tried being subtle and just not responding where possible but thanks to social networking they follow me on most platforms and have to comment on everything that I do.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to be rude or anything it's just that our lives have moved in completely different directions and there's a maturity level difference. (Wow, now I sound like a whiney old bag.)
I guess I could always tighten my security settings again. *rolls eyes* I hate having to do that. It's only really facebook I have to worry about. Twitter seems to be beyond the comprehension of those I don't want stalking and I don't bother with the sites they use anymore.